


Responsible

by craterdweller



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Dark, Gen, Guilt, Major Character Injury, Season/Series 06
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-24
Updated: 2018-05-16
Packaged: 2019-04-27 01:17:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14414514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/craterdweller/pseuds/craterdweller
Summary: Tired of always being the responsible one, Sam calls out sick and takes a day for herself.





	1. Responsible

“I’m sure I’ll be fine after some rest. Thank you, sir.”Sam tamped down the twinge of guilt for lying to General Hammond. Physically, she felt fine. Mentally, however, she wasn’t up for another day of the Colonel O’Neill and Jonas Quinn show. Daniel had been gone for months, and the Colonel himself had chosen Jonas for his replacement. She grimaced. Okay, well he allowed him on the team. It was either that or Hammond was going to assign one of the new Russian members. _Why did the Colonel have to be so difficult about things?_

Throwing on her motorcycle leathers, she rolled the Indian out of the garage and locked up the house. Sam was tired of being the responsible one. The dutiful major first to arrive and last to leave. Switching her cell phone off, she kickstarted the bike and roared off. _Someone else can save the world today._

❖

After a long dusty ride, a nice hot bath was the only thing on her mind. Turning onto her street, the last thing she expected to find was base vehicles parked in her driveway. She cut the engine, coasting the final hundred feet. Two airmen exited the rear car. “Ma’am, we have orders to take you directly to the base.”

“Orders from whom?” An uncharitable thought directed at her commanding officer crossed her mind, but she held her tongue.

“General Hammond, ma’am.”

_Hammond? That was unexpected._ She locked her bike in the garage before jumping into the back seat of the dark sedan. She scrolled through the missed call log on her phone. The first was from Janet’s cell. She skipped the message and went to the next. Janet was probably just checking up. The others started a few hours later and were from the central SGC trunkline. Holding her phone to her ear, she keyed up the first message. It was from Walter. SG-1 had run into a problem. Two more messages from Walter. Then one from Hammond. The last one sent a chill down her spine.

She leaped from the car as it was still rolling, clearing the two security checkpoints in record speed.

❖

She paced the length of the observation deck. Down below Janet and her staff kept vigil over her team. They remained unconscious—even Teal’c. Unsurprisingly, Colonel O’Neill had taken the brunt of it and was on total life support. _This is my fault. I should have been there._

The door opened and closed quietly behind her. “Doctor Fraiser said she doesn’t expect any change. You should get some rest.” Hammond turned to leave, his disappointment evident in his tone.

“Sir, I …”

His blue eyes were inscrutable. He bit down on his lip. And waited. He offered no words of comfort. Not that there were any.

“What happened? No one would tell me.”

From the way he narrowed his eyes, Sam was afraid he wasn’t going to tell her. “Jonas Quinn may be a competent scientist, but he is inexperienced in the field. Colonel O’Neill pushed him to safety, at great cost to himself. But the accident triggered a chain reaction. All three men sustained grievous injuries.”

Sam swallowed the bile rising in her throat. Jonas had made a mistake. _Maybe if she had been there._

“There is no use speculating on the what ifs, Major. Colonel O’Neill made the call to proceed with the mission down a man. No one was available from the science team, but Jack said they could handle it.” Hammond shook his head as if the motion could clear the disbelief. “Get some rest, Major. Perhaps Doctor Fraiser will have better news in the morning.”

“I’d like to stay a little longer, sir.”

“Very well.”

As soon as Sam heard the door close, she sunk into the nearest chair and let the tears fall freely. Of all the days to pick to be irresponsible. _Why hadn’t the colonel postponed the mission? Why hadn’t she called him instead of Hammond?_ The little voice that had been murmuring in her ear was brutally honest. _You know why._

Down below, Janet moved over to check on the Colonel. Sam rapped on the glass. Janet looked up and shook her head sadly.

Sam would give anything to take the day back. _How could she forgive herself? She was responsible._


	2. Nanotech

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Janet try an experimental procedure.

An exhausted Janet joined Sam and Hammond the next morning with a status update. “Teal’c briefly regained consciousness, but as his vitals were still weak, I encouraged him to try to kel-no-reem. He’s been moved to iso room two. Jonas’ tests have come back clean for alien contaminants. However, I would like to keep him quarantined for a few more days. He’s been confined to iso room one and is asking for his journals.”

“Provided they have gone through proper decontamination procedures, I see no reason to deny his request. Has he recalled any further details about what happened?”

“No, sir. He hit his head when Colonel O’Neill shoved him out of the way. It’s too soon to tell if the memory loss is only temporary.”

“Very well. And Colonel O’Neill?”

Sam swallowed hard as she braced herself for the news.

Janet shook her head. “No change. He is still on total life support. Something is altering his mitochondria and interfering with their normal functions.”

“Is there anything that can be done?”

Janet frowned. “I’ve been researching the latest experimental procedures, and there was one promising study using nanotechnology.”

“Nanotechnology?”

Sam felt the first ray of hope. “Yes, sir. Like what infected Colonel O’Neill on Argos.”

“The nanites that escaped containment and could have infected the entire base?”

“They wouldn’t be the same nanites, sir. And there will be better safeguards in place.”

Hammond looked dubious. “Doctor?”

Janet placed her hands inside the pockets of her white lab coat. “Provided Major Carter can work out the programming, it may be Colonel O’Neill’s only chance.” She bit her lip.

“What aren’t you saying, Doctor?”

“While he was recovering from his ordeal with Ba’al, Colonel O’Neill made a living will. Ethically I’m not sure that this doesn’t qualify as extraordinary measures.”

“Janet, that was about not wanting to become another host.” All three were well aware the colonel had only agreed because Sam had pleaded with him.

“Perhaps. But Dr. Frasier has made a valid point. Jack’s wishes must be paramount.”

“But …”

Hammond held up his hand to forestall Sam’s objections. “Doctor, can you wake him? This needs to be his decision.”

“I’ll try, sir.”

“Do it. And if you can’t wake him, then we will honor the terms of his living will. I’m sorry, Sam. But, we owe him that much.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Call me when you are ready to proceed, Doctor.”

“Sir, with your permission. I’d like to run a few simulations in my lab in case Colonel O’Neill agrees.” At Hammond’s nod, Sam escaped to the solace of her lab.

❖

“Sam, the preliminary results are back.”

At the doctor’s gentle shake, Sam winced as she lifted her head off the lab bench “Janet. Sorry, I must have fallen asleep.”

“You promised you were heading straight to your quarters last night.”

“I couldn’t sleep.”

Janet let it drop. They were all worried for Colonel O’Neill. “The early test results look promising. The nanites have repaired the damaged mitochondria, and his vitals have improved enough to remove the breathing tube. I thought you might want to be there.”

Sam scowled as her hand tangled in her hair.

“You have time for a quick shower.” Janet arched an eyebrow.

“I can wait. I need to see for myself …”

Sam’s longer strides forced the doctor to run to keep up. Wires and tubes snaked from the colonel to the machines that kept him alive. Sam stifled a sob. _Her fault. This was her fault._

General Hammond stepped up alongside her as Janet began removing the intubation. “You’ve done all you can, Sam. It’s up to Jack now.”

Sam blocked out the rest of the room as she focused on the colonel’s chest, which remained eerily still. _Please, Jack. I can’t lose you. Breathe._ “Breathe damn it!”

The colonel sucked in a breath, gasping as his body struggled to regain the rhythm of breathing.

“Easy, colonel. Breathe out, not in. You need to breathe out first.”

His eyes slit open before closing against the harsh lights of the infirmary.

Hammond dimmed the lights on his way out. “We’ll talk later, Jack.”

The colonel nodded slightly.

“It’s good to have you back, sir.”

He gave Sam’s hand a gentle squeeze before drifting off to sleep.

Relieved, she slipped from the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GYWO prompt: Biopunk  
> Genprompt Bingo: Mitochondria
> 
> There will be one more chapter coming soon to wrap this story up.


	3. Talking Things Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Jack talk a bit after he is released from the infirmary.

Strange shadows cut across the swath of moonlight bisecting the hardwood floor of the colonel’s spare bedroom. Sam rolled over to check the time. A little after midnight. She heard Jonas’ light snores from the living room, presumably where he slept on the leather couch. Through the crack under the office door across the hall, the candlelight flickered meaning Teal’c was deep into his kel-no-reem. She listened intently for any sound from the master bedroom where the colonel slept. Nothing. Slipping quietly out of bed, she eased his bedroom door open.

Jack sprawled across the middle of the queen sized bed, face down, ass up. She bit back a smile. So different from the way he slept off-world. She crept forward so as not to disturb him.It had taken nearly two weeks for the nanites to cure all the cellular damage. Janet had released him from the infirmary on the condition that SG-1 stay with him. There had been far too many close calls.

“Carter? What do you need?”

Sam jumped back in surprise. “Sir! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

Jack rolled over onto his back and rubbed his left eye. “What time is it?”

“A little after midnight.”

He paled as he struggled to sit up, grunting as he slapped her helping hands away. “I’m fine.”

She bit down on her lower lip and backed up, giving him space. Unbidden tears welled in her eyes. “I’m sorry.”

He waved off her apology and stared out the window.

“It’s my fault.”

His head swiveled back sharply as her voice broke. “C’mere.” He buried his face in her neck as she crawled into his embrace, her silent tears wetting his t-shirt. “How is this your fault? You weren’t even there.”

“I should have been. Maybe if I had …”

He rocked her gently. “Shh. There was nothing you could have done. You would have been hurt too.”

“Maybe I would have noticed whatever Jonas …”

Jack pulled back slightly and placed a finger to her lips. “The ancient symbols were buried under a few inches of dust. None of us saw them until I’d triggered the device. If anyone’s to blame, it’s me.”

Sam shook her head. “Sounds like it was unavoidable. An accident.”She closed her eyes. “Sir, I should have been on the mission. I wasn’t. I’m so, sorry.”

He tightened his arm around her as she tried to pull away. “Sam. Look at me please.”

She wiped her eyes and met his gaze reluctantly.

“I’m the one that needs to apologize. I’ve been an insufferable ass. Ever since …” He closed his eyes in shame.“Look, I don’t blame you. I’m surprised you’ve put up with me for this long. I’ll talk to Hammond. Put in my papers.” He released her and pulled away.

“What? No!” She rose to her knees and turned his face back to hers. She recoiled at his defeated look. “You can’t retire.”

Jack shook his head. “Sam, you’re ready. You’ve been ready. You don’t need me to stand in your way.”

“Is that what you think this is about? That I want SG-1? Of all the stupid …”

“Carter …” He put a hand on her arm.

“No don’t Carter me.” She pulled away angrily. “So that’s it? You’re just going to quit?”

“There’s no guarantee I’ll even be cleared for active duty.” He waved an arm vaguely over the body that had taken quite a beating over the years—defending his country, his planet, but mostly his team.

She rose quickly, staring up at the ceiling as she tried to calm herself. _Time for a different approach._ “What about Cassie? Do you have any idea how worried she’s been? She’d be devastated if you left.” Then in a whisper, “What about me?”

“Sam.” He stood on shaky legs and put a hand on her shoulder. “You’ll be fine. Better than fine without me serving as a constant reminder of everything you’ve lost.”

“What?” She wrapped her arm around his waist and led him back to the bed.

“You blame me for Daniel, and rightly so. I …”

“No! I don’t blame you for Daniel. I’m angry because you shut me out when he died. I needed you. I still need you.”

Jack settled back on the bed, his strength leaving him. “I’m not—I suck at feelings. I don’t know how to do this and keep it in the room.” His eyes closed in exhaustion.

Sam crawled in beside him and laid her head on his chest. “Oh, Jack. We’ll figure this out. Please don’t give up on us.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompts:  
> GenPrompt Bingo: Vulnerability  
> MonthlySuperGo: Midnight
> 
> There will be one more short chapter.


	4. Epilog

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam is running herself ragged looking for Jack. Janet orders her off base. Set just after she breaks down in the locker room with Teal'c during Paradise Lost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Weaving the earlier chapters back into canon.

Sam had convinced Jack to hold off putting in his papers. Then he went and got himself lost. Four weeks. And embarrassing confessions aside, Sam was no closer to solving the mystery. When the door to the women’s locker room fanned open, she thought Teal’c had returned. “Teal’c, I need a moment.”

“Wow, I’m not sure if I should take that as a compliment or be offended on Teal’c’s behalf.” Janet smiled to take the sting out of the barb. Staring at the worry lines and pale complexion of her best friend, the doctor offered up some friendly advice. “Sam, you need to get some rest. And I don’t mean a short catnap in your base quarters or your lab.”

“Janet.”

“He wouldn’t want you to do this to yourself again, Sam. The colonel would be the first one to order you home.”

“What? Am I supposed to give up? Leave him out there? What if he’s hurt?”

“I will go to General Hammond if I have to.”

Sam left the base as ordered, but didn’t head home. With her spare key, she let herself into Jack’s house. She hugged his pillow to her chest; the lingering smell of his aftershave a balm for her battered heart. Tomorrow, she would go over Jonas’ video again.

_Please, Jack._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GYWO prompt: Anxious

**Author's Note:**

> GYWO Prompt: Responsible (chapter 1), Biopunk (chapter 2)  
> Genprompt Bingo: Mitochondria
> 
>  
> 
> Trying something a little different ...


End file.
